4REAL

My latest obsession is with Richey James Edwards





I dont know if obsession is the right word. As with my past fascinations such as Kurt Cobain and Edie Sedgwick I like collecting all the information I possibly can about them, as well as pretty pictures. But then again, perhaps obsession is correct.

I felt like posting a blog since facebook no longer has the application where you can put photos on your page, where i used to have all my favourite peoples photographs. So I will just post some of my favourite photos of Richey that i have gathered on here instead.

I dont know what it is about these people that I am attracted to. I am like a moth to a flame and I fall in love with each and every one of them for a little while.



Richey was in the band Manic Street Preachers and basically was a genius lyricist. The song Faster (from 1994) is my current favourite (Richey is on the left):

Heres the lyrics:

I hate purity
Hate goodness
I dont want virtue to exist anywhere
I want everyone corrupt

I am an architect, they call me a butcher
I am a pioneer, they call me primitive
I am purity, they call me perverted
Holding you but I only miss these things when they leave

I am idiot drug hive, the virgin, the tattered and the torn
Life is for the cold made warm and they are just lizards
Self-disgust is self-obsession honey and I do as I please
A morality obedient, only to the cleansed repented

I am stronger than mensa, miller and mailer
I spat out plath and pinter
I am all the things that you regret
A truth that washes that learnt how to spell

The first time you see yourself naked you cry
Soft skin now acne, foul breath, so broken
He loves me truly this mute solitude Im draining
I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing

Sleep cant hide the thoughts splitting through my mind
Shadows arent clean, false mirrors too many people awake
If you stand up like a nail then you will be knocked down
Ive been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else

I am stronger than mensa, miller and mailer
I spat out plath and pinter
I am all the things that you regret
A truth that washes that learnt how to spell, learnt to spell

So damn easy to cave in, man kills everything

He couldnt play guitar very well, but this didnt stop him from joining the band, as James Dean Bradfield (actual front man of the band) recorded all of the guitar parts on the albums anyway. Richey only ever recorded 2 songs for their albums.

“I dislike my guitar intensely, I can't even be bothered to smash the fucking thing. It doesn't deserve death.” Richey Edwards, 1994



I wrote about Richey in my suicide essay (although I have since changed my mind, and I am not so sure he is dead) so I might as well paste in what I wrote about Richey instead of writing his biography over again. so heres an extract from my essay:


Richey James Edwards was born on 22nd December 1967 in Blackwood, Wales. While growing up he immersed himself in literature, reading the complete works of Shakespeare by the age of 16. In 1989 he joined the Manic Street Preachers and helped them by playing guitar, co writing their lyrics and driving them from gig to gig until he was accepted into the band. Richey had a history of mental illness, including anorexia and self harm, which seemed to come to the surface publicly in 1991. Edwards carved “4 REAL” into his fore arm with a razor blade after a show, in front of a shocked journalist.


While Richey was in the band they released 3 albums; Generation Terrorists (1992), Gold Against the Soul (1993), and The Holy Bible (1994). The Holy Bible is considered the most personal to Edwards who wrote at least 70% of the lyrics. After the release of The Holy Bible in 1994, Edwards checked into rehab, missing a lot of promotional work and touring for the album. The band were due to leave to tour America on the 1st of February 1995, but Edwards disappeared from his London hotel early that morning. The last confirmed sighting of him was near the Severn bridge at a service station, and his car was discovered 2 weeks later on the 14th of February 1995. He was 27 years old. It wasn't until November 2008 that he was officially declared “presumed dead”. "

So Richey could still be out there. I visited the Bridge and the service station he left his car at. This is what made me reconsider my opinion that he killed himself. Im not sure why but just seeing it, it didnt make sense, but then if you are suicidal, nothing would make sense and you would just act. oh well, who knows I doubt anyone ever will.

( I love photos of him wearing the leopard coat. its gorgeous)

Anyway thats who has been all over my brain lately. I listen to the album The Holy Bible at least once a day. It is Brilliant and I highly recommend it.

Richey didnt leave any kind of note when he left, except one to a girl (im not sure how they knew it was for her unless it was in an envolope or something) but it simply said I love you.

But here is a note he wrote, I dont know what for, but I will end this post with it. It sums up Richeys attitude neatly.

I'll do another Richey post sometime soon.

(Hello if anyone actually reads my blog!)

Long Time No BLOG!

Indeed, I haven't blogged since March, so we could be in for a long one.

A lot has happened, but at the same time pretty much nothing has changed.

I am now 22, which is pretty depressing for me. When I imagined myself in my 20's I imagined a lot more than this. Something in my favour, 90% of people don't believe me when I tell them my age, I guess I look like a kid still.

But hey ho and on with the show.

I was talking of essays last time I blogged and I managed to get them all done on time. I recently found out that I got three 1st's on those essays, including the one i worked for about a month on about musicians suicides. So i am pretty happy since i worked so hard, and got to write about something i have been into since i was about 12. I have some kind of morbid obsession with dead celebrities, i just get sucked into finding out every detail of their lives and why they would kill themselves, or die. I guess its like a hobby of some kind. I blame my mum for loving Freddie Mercury when i was growing up. My own obsessions started obviously with Nirvana and Kurt Cobain when i was 12 (10 years ago now - depressing).

I ended up writing about 3000 words when the limit was 2000, luckily my teacher isn't too strict. I could easily write it all again, and more.

I wrote about Ian Curtis, Kurt Cobain and Richey Edwards.

It was alot of fun, I love all of them and their music, but it was also a bit depressing. Getting into their mindset wasn't the happiest of places. Perhaps i will post up my essay here sometime, i'll think about it.

Now i have the task of thinking of what i am going to write 8000 words about in my final year...

I have been reading a lot of Hunter S Thompson lately, (who also committed suicide - hmm) which i have been meaning to do for a good few years now. I just read The Rum Diary, and i'm almost done reading Hells Angels now too. I will be moving onto The Gonzo Papers Vol. 1 next.

The Rum Diary wasn't a particularly exciting or groundbreaking story, but i loved every page of it. Hunters style of writing is definitely the one for me. He wrote the book when he was 22 (my age - depressing) and i just fell in love with him. It follows his time as a writer in Puerto Rico. I highly recommend it as a great summer read. I imagined i was on a nice beach somewhere reading it instead of at home in canterbury in my bed. I cant wait to see the movie - naturally Johnny Depp is playing him. (I say him, it written about someone else, but you can clearly see it is based on Hunter)

Movie wise, I have seen most of the films on my previous blog post list. I badly want to see the hangover. I recently watched Revolutionary Road and was pleasantly surprised. I wasn't expecting to enjoy it as much as i did. Leonardo and Kate did a great job and they work great together, a believable couple. I am going to watch the films Good and Angels and Demons tonight, hopefully they will be enjoyable too.

In other news i still dig Alexa Chung.

She has had a haircut since my last blogs about her. exciting stuff. She also now has moved to Williamsburg, NY and has her own show on MTV called It's on With Alexa Chung. I think every weekday at 12. I haven't had a chance to see it since its not shown in England, but i havent heard anything bad. MTV cleverly realised how many people follow her style and post up a list id-ing her outfit everyday. I have only really liked one oufit so far which is this one:

A cute navy blue dress, a cream cardi and black flats. simple as always but very wearable.

A few of her outfits in the past few months have been total misses for me, but i really like this Burberry number she wore to a Burberry party in NY:

I love it all...except for the boots. I love this silver dress. If only I could afford Burberry...

what else is there to say...

I really looking forward to going to Reading this year. i'm not sure whos going with me yet but i hope someone does, it'd suck to be there alone.

I missed the AWESOME lineup last year, which i dont like thinking about lol, because i had spent all my money on a road trip in America which was also awesome, but im still sad i missed reading. this year will be my 4th year going.

Im mostly looking forward to see KOL, MSTRKRFT, Arctic Monkeys and Vampire Weekend.

I think thats all i have to say right now. This is a pretty long post now, so i think ill leave it here with some of Ian Curtis lyrics.

Till Next time.

university work

So right now it is almost 6 am and im not tired. I have some sort of cold/flu and i slept for most of the day, hence no sleep now. I have a lecture at 9am so pretty much no point in sleeping right now.
So ive decided to do some work. Due in may i have a 3000 word report to write, amongst a million other of course. The topic is Popular music and popular culture. I get to choose the title myself which is cool and i have decided to write about death in rock music, since i know alot about that anyways. I havent thought of an exact title yet, but i thought id brainstorm on here a bit to figure something out. i want to look at if a bands music gets more popular after a musicans death cause it seems to me that they sorta become martyrs in alot of cases. First of all, Shane, my teacher said to list all the people who have died who i want to write about and list them in catagories of death, suicide, unknown etc. so ill have a go at that now.


Kurt Cobain of Nirvana, obviously commited suicide in 1994, a shotgun in the mouth, above his garage in Seattle. i could write and write about this guy, but ill save that for the essay.




Ian Curtis of Joy Division. He commited suicide in 1980, hanging himself on his indoor washing line. He is really interesting as he killed him self so young (23) and i have a biography written by his widow (which i have yet to read). I really enjoyed the film Control, which actually prompted me to write my report on this morbid topic.


Freddie Mercury caught AIDS at some point in the late 80's and died in 1991. I grew up only listening to Queen. My mum loved Freddie, and i think this is where i get my fascination with dead musicans from. I know alot about him from her always telling me facts, the only one which i can remember are that he loved koi fish and siamese cats.

(lol at the pictures im choosing getting bigger and bigger)

Jeff Buckley drowned in 1997 near the Mississippi river. He went swimming in all of his clothes and wearing shoes which i find strange. I dont really know very much about him, apart from listening to his music pretty much every day, so id better do some research.



Jimi Hendrix died in 1970 from choking on his own vomit, which wikipedia tells me was mainly red wine. The circumstances of his death in London were dodgy and never fully worked out, and his gf at the time committed suicide in the 90's after a libel trial was started.


Jim Morrison died in 1971 of a supposed heroin overdose, he was found in the bathtub. Although very stupidly no autopsy was ever conducted, so there are many rumors of him being still alive and conspiracies of his death.


Sid Vicious died in 1979 aged just 21. He died of a heroin overdose just after going on trial for the death of his girlfriend Nancy Spungen who was stabbed to death in the Chelsea hotel in NY. I dont know very much about Sid but i am very interested in him and ill be reading up on him soon.


Lastly for now, Richie Edwards, of the Manic street preachers, nobody knows if he is dead or alive. Wikipedia tells me "Edwards mysteriously vanished on 1st February 1995. He was declared presumed deceased in November 2008". Interestingly the band still donate a portion of all their profits into an account for him incase he ever comes back. If you're wondering in the picture above Ritchie carved 4 REAL into his arm when a journalist questioned the band's authenticity and values in 1991.

okay so thats all i can think of right now, its 6:30 am.
i wonder if theres anyone else i should include....